The Retort

From the Desk of One Baroque College Student: Gear Grinding leads to Metal Shavi

Thu February 4th, 2010 by Lou Donaldson Of The Retort Staff

So I have been contemplating my navel more so then normal as of late and have come to some shall we say truths of life. Now these are not necessarily “new” ideas, revelations, or thoughts by any means; I have just decided to share them. Was thinking about making this like a snip it from Peter Griffin’s “Grinds My Gears” rant off of Family Guy. But meh, until recently the show had lost some of its appeal and had resorted to straight up toilet humor.

One truth of life is that life is too short to be angry all or even most of the time. If you don’t have to deal with those things that you know piss you off then don’t. For example stupid people piss me off therefore I avoid stupid people as much as possible. Now before anyone gets all upset, by stupid people I mean those close minded zealots that are so full of their own shit that they can’t see the forest through the trees.

The second truth of life is of a more religious note and is probably going to piss the closed-minded masses right the hell off but I don’t care. Zeus, Earth Mother, the Lord, Isis, the Green Man, the Lady, Sky Father, Hera, Yahweh, Guan Yin, Jehovah, Mami Wata, God (Allah translates into God so not listing it twice), etc.; they are all the same freaking thing! Think of it as a mirror ball with every known deity throughout space, time, and history being a facet on it. Each with their own characteristics, stories and traits but yet they are all a small piece of a greater whole.

Occasionally I find myself wondering how much conflict and crap would have been avoided over the years if more people shared this thought - hence why I’m sharing it with you.

My third truth of life is more so a long smoldering thought. To hell with being politically correct all the freaking time. Now I’m not saying it’s time to run around and be rude to everyone without consideration for others as individuals. What I am saying is that some of the crap needs to be changed. For example, it’s not vertically challenged it’s short; it’s not horizontally challenged it’s fat (be it for whatever reason and yes there are different degrees of being so); most importantly people are people, to hell with putting them in sub sectional little categories.

The fourth truth is based on interaction between people. When someone asks your opinion on anything first ask them if they want to know what you really think or if they want it sugar coated. Why you may be asking. It’s simple, many people can’t handle the truth. They wear their rose colored blinders and go about their merry little way. If they tell you they want the truth then give it to them, because truth is the ultimate power and it will set free those who speak it and willing to accept it for what it is.

If they pause and give you a weird look and say they want it sugar coated then you know to handle them with “kid gloves,” so as not to remove their rose colored blinders. Now keep in mind some people prefer the way the world looks through their blinders and if that’s what works for them then that’s ok. If living their life through the effects of the blue pill works for them then so be it, I personally enjoy the view after taking the red pill. The fifth truth that I am going to share with you is simply this though the words of Teddy Roosevelt “walk softly and carry a big stick.” This truth transcends time and location, one has to remember that just because you have a big stick doesn’t mean you can crack everyone you meet on the head with it. Because with great power comes great responsibility. So on closing, dear readers I fully encourage you to embrace the chaos, just remember to breath.