The Retort

There is No Such Thing as a Perfect Joke

March 26th, 2010 by Eryn Braida For The Retort

Recently, a joke titled The Perfect Couple was published in the Potty Press and posted in the bathroom stalls in the dorms:

“Once upon a time, a perfect man and perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived.

The question is: Who was the survivor?

The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place anyway. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

(Women, that is the end of the joke, stop reading. Men, keep reading.)

So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, that means the perfect woman must have been driving, which explains why there was an accident in the first place. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, it illustrates another point: Women never listen, either.”

I am very offended by this joke. First, it says that there's no such thing as a perfect man, like women hope to someday find. But I really don't think that the qualities women want to find in a man are always unreasonable. Women want to find a man who is considerate and respectful, who cares about their thoughts and feelings, not just their bodies. In reality, there aren't that many men out there who have these qualities, and I wonder why? I think they are qualities that everyone should have. Second, it says that since there was a car accident, it must mean that a woman was driving. It claims that women are bad drivers and always cause car accidents, when in my experience men are the more reckless drivers by speeding and swerving around other cars trying to look "cool". And third, it tells women to stop reading at a certain point, but the men are allowed to continue reading. Then it claims that if a woman is reading the part she wasn't supposed to read, it proves their point that women never listen. Women should not have to just automatically obey men and do whatever they say.

And, also in my experience, women listen a lot more than men do. Men usually complain that their girlfriend or wife always wants to hear how they feel and have actual conversations when he is content with having no communication at all. So I can only assume that the man who wrote this joke thinks that women should be bossed around by men and do whatever they're told to do and should just shut up and not complain. I am very upset that this joke was printed and posted here in our residence halls and can't believe such a sexist thing was allowed to be published.