The Retort

I walk into my living room and turn the NES on
wanna play some Super Mario, its number one!
Gonna make Mario the champion of the mushroom kingdom
Gonna save the princess and make Bowser look like a Dum-Dum
Don’t need no drugs or alcohol for inspiration
Just gimme a couple mushrooms to get the sensation
so I can beat the Koopa Troopas on a higher level
When I find that fire flower I’m gonna have the power
to make the Goombas snivel
beating tower after tower
and you can forget about Luigi
That plumber’s wack
Give that Italian a new butt crack
Even if I gave that green guy a hundred coins
He still wouldn't have a life
cuz Mario's the guy with the magic loins
Slide down the pipes to the underground worlds
I'm dancing to the beat while making Goombas heads twirl
I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve been to level zero
And I’m easily the Super Mario Bros. hero
I can save the princess in ten minutes flat
But that Toad must be smoking crack
I find him in every castle
and it’s just a hassle
That's why I use a warp tube
Bowser can just keep that noob
The games over now cuz my mom unplugged my tv
My names LeRoy and I'm thirty three......
And now I’m grounded for an eternity....
Nerd please