The Retort

An English Major’s Dissection of “The Perfect Couple” Joke

April 19th, 2010 by Ben Algava For The Retort

A few weeks ago, an issue of the Potty Press carried a joke about “The Perfect Couple.” This caused a reaction towards what was seen as sexist, and has now caused opinions on the other side. However, the joke remains untouched and unexamined for what was truly said: was it really sexist, or was it using sexist comments deceptively to place a joke on another. As such, I shall give a brief look at this joke.

The joke starts: “Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. There life was, of course, perfect.” For starters, the word perfect is used five times.

Continuing on: “One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toy. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived.

“The question is: Who was the survivor?

“The perfect woman survived.”

So, as we see from this narrative, everything is this world is disgustingly perfect, with two exceptions. First, the roads are described as winding and bad in each respective account. Second, it is snowing; so driving conditions are not perfect. However, I should call attention to the word accident. An accident is any unplanned incident that occurs, for instance a child peeing in their pants. Of course, this would mean that the accident was part of imperfection. Also note that the perfect world is shattered here since if everything was perfect, they would all survive.

“She’s the only one who really existed in the first place anyway. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as the perfect man.”

Starting here, the joke suddenly shifts to reality. As such, in reality, as stated in the joke itself, there is no Santa Claus, and the perfect man isn’t real. However, the perfect woman is real. Speaking from experience, and probably everyone else’s experience as well, I have never seen this perfect woman. In fact, there is no such thing.

But let’s look closely. This perfect woman is real. How is she perfect? Where did that status come from? Interestingly, the answer is right in front of our face. From men. Yes, from men. Stereotypically, women should be subservient, quiet, know their place and a variety of other things. So, obviously, she is what men would stereotypically consider perfect. Perfection should also be noted to only work in generalities, like a perfect life.

“(Women, that is the end of the joke, stop reading. Men, keep reading.)

“So if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, that means the perfect woman must have been driving, which explains why there was an accident in the first place. By the way, if you’re a woman and you’re reading this, it illustrates another point: Women never listen either.”

Well that’s kind of sexist, except problem: men also create the sexist stereotypes above. If so, how was the perfect woman driving? Obviously the perfect woman, being such, would have “known” that she, being a woman, would be a bad driver, and so, would never have been driving in the first place, especially since men also have a concept of the perfect man.

Additionally, it was stated that the accident was caused by deteriorating conditions of the roadway during a snow storm. That may have been part of the narrative, but unlike the perfection of everything else, that’s real. I guess we’re changing logic for convenience.

But if said perfect woman was responsible for the accident, then this so-called “perfect woman” isn’t perfect. Recap: Santa Claus and the perfect man not real. Now add the perfect woman, none of the characters remain in the story. But what about the last sentence?

“Women never listen either.” Men don’t listen either, clear and simple, especially since men, despite having the sexist stereotypes of women believe there is a perfect woman. Mary Astell put it nicely in her text Some Reflections upon Marriage:

“For that which has not real excellency and value in itself entertains no longer than the giddy humor which recommended it to us holds; and when we can like on no just, or on very little ground, ‘tis certain a dislike will arise, as lightly and as unaccountably.”

This joke is not something to skim the surface to see. It is much more complex in its tale and structure. While a sexist opinion or not might still come about through examination, this joke is not light humor. Though, we should remember that this joke was in a bathroom stall, where there is no one to make sure you obey its commands.