The Retort

Meet the Retort Staff

September 25th, 2009 by Various Of The Retort Staff

Matt Squires, Online Editor

I am a new paramedic student at the College of Technology, and I plan to graduate in 2011. I originally got into Emergency Medical Services because I wanted to be a ski patroller. Once I got my EMT certifications I also joined Search and Rescue, and volunteered at a fire department. I quickly discovered that as a basic EMT my salary and scope of practice were severely limited, and I was not satisfied with the paramedic educational opportunities in Gallatin County. I headed east to MSU Billings.

Many people have asked me what I will be doing after I graduate in two years. I don’t really have any plans, but it got me thinking about where I’ve been and what I’ve done, in biennial increments, to see if there are any patterns.

In 2007, I was an unemployed ski bum in Big Sky, Montana, which is about a three hour drive from Billings. Big Sky is a small, quirky community with seasonal tourism and beautiful surroundings. “I am late because there was a moose in my way” is a perfectly acceptable excuse in Big Sky. I like to call it the “Disneyland of Montana.”

In 2005, I hiked the entire Pacific Crest Trail, which goes from Mexico to Canada. It took me five months. I lost a lot of weight. I walked about thirty miles a day.

In 2003, I was a certified scuba guide living on a Dutch island in the Caribbean. As a Montana boy I thought an endless summer would be nice, but after three years of constant sun I was ready for a cold winter again. When the seasons don’t change, the activities don’t change, and I got bored.

In 2001, on the morning of September 11, I was giving the best I aid I could with the materials I had (cardboard boxes for splints and latex gloves and ice for ice packs) to victims of the World Trade Center disaster in New York. When airplanes explode in real life, it is not nearly as cool or as loud as it is in the movies.

In 1999, I was living on a small sailboat and exploring the waters of Washington State and British Columbia.

So when people ask me what I’ll be doing in a couple of years, the best I can come up with is, “How the hell should I know, but I’m sure it will be interesting.”

Jennifer Otis, Copy Editor

My name is Jennifer Otis, and I will be the Retort’s copy editor this year. I am originally from New Jersey but moved to Billings in high school. Since then I’ve lived in Portland, Oregon and Spokane, Washington, but returned to Billings to be closer to my father and sisters.

I am excited to be returning to school after a three-year hiatus due to family illness. I plan on majoring in graphic design, and am really looking forward to taking all art classes this semester.

I’ve been married to my husband Pat for three years, and we don’t have any kids but we do have two cats and a schnoodle (schnauzer-poodle mix) that we’re very attached to.

I work in the hospital laboratory at Billings Clinic where I get to see a lot of interesting things, but I’m not a scientific person by nature. Plus, the smell gets to me after a while. My husband works at FedEx and the Boys & Girls Club and is finishing his last semester of college. He also coaches basketball in Park City.

Pat and I love to travel; in the five years we’ve been together we have gone to Denver, Boise, Seattle, Portland, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Puerto Vallarta, Cabo san Lucas, and Mazatlan. My husband is a huge sports fanatic and on those trips we’ve seen the Dodgers, the Nuggets, the Mariners, and the Yankees play. Our favorite places to go include Sea World, the Las Vegas strip, and anywhere on the ocean.

This summer we got to go to Yellowstone Park and see a wolf pack as well as elk, deer, antelope, and hundreds of bison. Our most recent adventure was a cruise to Mexico, where we got to try snorkeling, sea kayaking, and of course…shuffleboard.

I’m really excited to be working for the Retort; I love reading and writing and would have majored in English if I thought I could have made a career out of it. I am an avid reader and can always be found with a book in my hand and at least three more on the nightstand. Some of my favorite authors are Jodi Piccoult, Christopher Moore, and Rebecca Wells.

I’m also kind of a nerd - I love Harry Potter and the Twilight series. I frequent the Venture Theatre often and hope to submit some of my work to the one-act play festival this year.

Kyla Mollett, Creativity Editor

I don’t know what I believe in, but I’m seeking. I can feel my spirit, I just can’t find the damn thing yet.

I don’t really have a favorite band, but I do love Insane Clown Posse, old school Slipknot, and Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. I think there is too much inspirational music out there to have a favorite.

I love all zany colors, but I like my hair green the best. I enjoy smoking cigarettes, playing the guitar and the violin, skateboarding, pedaling around town on a bike, head-banging, writing, drawing, freeing my mind, staying up all night, reading, the occasional video game, and chillin’ like a villain.

I hope to one day be a writer and my inspirations are Hunter S. Thompson and Kayla Tenley Krank. I love my family and I love my friends.

I hope to be living in Seattle in a year or so. I get horrible anxiety, so if I seem kinda weird it’s because I’m living inside my head. I’m not sure what else there is to know that isn’t either inappropriate, or on a need-to-know basis. Hope you enjoyed!

Mike Schrage, News Editor

What can I possible say about myself that hasn’t already been sung by bards, chanted by Sarwakian tribes in the jungles of Borneo, and flittered to the far corners of our known world on the wings of legend? My name is Mike, and I am a 28 year-old senior History major here at Montana State University Billings.

I am responsible for the invention, inspiration and application of the following: The Ukulele, the plastic tips on the ends of your shoelaces, and the soft drink flavoring phenomenon ”Lymon.” I live with a dog, I have a Muppet Show poster on my apartment wall, and the first CD I ever bought was Def Lepperd’s Greatest Hits. A short list of things that are of great interest to me at the time of printing: Saint Bernards, Grand Theft Auto IV, finding my keys, and paying my overdue cell phone bill.

As News Editor and columnist this semester, I pledge to you that you will get no less than 67-percent of my maximum effort output. I intend to pose such thought-provoking topics of discussion as race, religion, and crude stories centered around deformed genitalia. I look forward to working with my fellow cohorts over the course of the next several months under the assumption that my newfound sobriety continues. If I do start drinking again, it is going to make for a damn tedious semester.

Lou Donaldson, Arts & Entertainment Editor

Okay, about me: I’m married with two kids (one boy, one girl); I’m an art major with a concentration in watercolor and ceramics. I’m a member of the Potters Guild and a part of the Cage Of Communication and Knowledge (the abbreviation does mean what you think it does). I’m considered the “bran flake” of the cage because I keep everyone regular.

I’m willing to try almost anything once and am kind of an adrenaline junkie. I usually have a smile on my face and a “f*ck you” attitude, which is not always a bad thing. Most people think I’m a bit of a b*tch because I don’t sugarcoat things, and I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe in - even if the cards are stacked against me.

Steven Pittenger

As the chief monkey wrangler of this circus we call The Retort, I have come to realize that there is little I can say about myself that isn’t already scrawled across some bathroom wall here on campus. My position seems to have made me as many friends as enemies and I am reminded on a daily basis just how many of both are out there.

Still, if you insist on knowing something personal about my life, I suppose I could share the fact that I’m a senior, a psychology major, and rather fond of the Cosmopolitan (both the drink and the magazine). In my spare time I enjoy gaming (yes I’m a nerd), cooking, and stalking Pete Wentz.

My commitment to journalism and its integrity is similar to Courtney Love’s commitment to an eight-ball of good blow - it is not pretty but at least it’s consistent. I think if I had to describe myself in three words or less I would say that I am “one classy bitch.”

If you are looking for me either to engage in civil discourse (I’m not holding my breath) or to hand-deliver your most recent hate mail, I can usually be found in The Retort office here on campus.

Bailey Martin, Business Manager

I believe entirely in only one thing and that is, as George Santayana says, “the world is not respectable; it is mortal, tormented, confused, deluded forever; but it is shot through with beauty, with love, with glints of courage and laughter; and in these, the spirit blooms…”

I was born and raised in Billings and throughout my life I have never found any place that I loved more. My family is huge and I love every strange and crazy bit of them.

My major is History with the teaching certificate option. After I earn my bachelor’s degree, I plan on teaching English in South Korea for awhile. Eventually I would like to teach History at the college level. My dream is to help educate people about the reality of war, its causes and consequences, and the only beauty of war – the leaders it makes some people become.

I want to see the world and explore its cultures. I love books, movies, music, France, Asians, genealogy, and so much more. My favorite book is Rilla of Ingleside by L.M. Montgomery and my favorite song is “Billy the Kid” by Billy Dean. I love Amnesty International’s “Price of Silence” – the price of silence is really much too high.

As a child, I dreamed of attending MSUB and becoming a teacher, but dreams change. Surprisingly, my life ended up returning to that far away dream. I am not going to deny it, I also never saw myself sitting in this chair and doing this job. This is my second semester at The Retort and I really enjoy working here – especially now that we have competent staff members. Being second-in-command to a guy like Steven who understands basically everything is wonderful.

Rob Barnosky, Sports Editor

I am a first year graduate student. I finished my degree in psychology this past spring and I will continue to study here for a few more years.

Over the past four years I have been involved in a number of different programs and offices on campus. Most recently I served as the student body president, and before that I was in RHA, senate, and have worked all over campus.

Currently I am serving on the Montana Board of Regents, which is the governing board for public higher education in Montana. In my spare time I enjoy watching almost any sporting event, hiking Montana’s mountains, and fishing.

Good luck this semester and I hope you enjoy The Retort.

Jen Gross, Opinion Editor

I just spent the last two hours constructing a beautiful, poetic, philosophical, abstract description of myself to serve as my “Meet the Staff” piece. This is not that piece. I realized that I should probably write as if I’m talking to a friend rather than writing as if this were a term paper. Beware – apparently formal writing can be habit-forming!

Before I get too far off track, I am required to introducemyself. I am an enthusiastic Environmental Studies student, and I love learning. College, I‘ve discovered, is a really great place to go if you’re into learning and exploring ideas. With me, what you see is what you get. I’m passionate, driven, dualistic in many senses, tied down, yet seeking freedom. I am critical of things that I am not supposed to be critical of, which, in actuality, is a good thing.

Often I am socially adept, and I can usually make others feel comfortable in unfamiliar territory. However, I get burned out after being around people for an extended period of time, and I have to retreat to the company of myself, and my dog, for a little introspection.

I am inspired and energized by color, especially bright colors! I am fascinated with the complexities and details of the natural world, as it is, in this moment. I am equally impressed by the simplicity and wholeness with which life fits together. I believe that all life is deserving of our respect.

I’m a joyful vegan. If you ever want to have a conversation about what that means, I’ll be more than happy to sit down and chat!

I am a self-proclaimed feminist, but don’t let that scare you. I’m not crazy in the sense that you may be thinking I’m crazy. I’m just, perhaps, more aware of certain systemic oppressions than I used to be.

To wrap up, I’ll say that I’m totally excited for this opportunity to be the Opinion Editor for The Retort. Go forth, dear readers, and walk in beauty!

Heidi Leritz, Layout Editor

So...my name is Heidi Leritz, I grew up in the small town of Belt, Montana, where everybody knows everybody’s business. I’m currently starting my sophomore year of college in the pursuit of a degree in Business Marketing. Post graduation plans, I want to go into advertising, but that has room to change...as do all of my decisions.

I transferred to MSUB this semester from the University of Montana where I completed my first year of college. Why the transfer? Long story, but overall I am extremely happy with my decision.

My main interests lie in my family, music, and snowboarding. My family is composed of all my favorite people. As the youngest of five kids, I have three older brothers and an older sister, all of which I look up to. They’ve all set a high bar and left big shoes to fill. Needless to say, I’m doing my best!

If I’m not with friends or family you’ll find me listening to music in some way, shape, or form. I can’t say I really have a favorite type of music, I listen to it all. However, you’ll find an abundance of rock on my iPod if you ever get a hold of it.

During the winter days I can’t think of a better way to spend my free time than on the slopes. If it was possible I would surely dedicate all of my time to snowboarding, however, now and then reality checks back in. That’s when I remember I’m not Hannah Teter and actually have to work at this thing we all know as life.

In the summer I occupy my time fighting fires for the US Forest Service. Yes, I realize this occupation has no relation to my major, but I love it all the same.

Well...those are the basics. If you see me on campus, come say hi! I love meeting new people…although, you might have to come jerk my iPod out of my ears...it’s not that I’m ignoring you, I just can’t hear you!

Matt Langman, Photographer