The Retort

Somewhere Beyond Bigger Bombs and Breast Implants

April 19th, 2010 by Keith Benson For The Retort

Picture this, you only need to get your DeLorean up to 88mph and take it back to last Easter break. I’m at a family gathering, playing with my niece Addison. She’s three going on 17. We’re playing with her new doll and tea set she got earlier that day. Me and my A.D.D. kick in after a bit and I wanna play something else, or I’ll pitch a fit; I’m 26.

“Hey Addison, wanna play some basketball with me?” I asked, referring to the basketball hoop, recommended for ages 2-8.

Her response: “No, that’s for boys!”

What?! Basketball is not just for boys! My God, I hope she doesn’t have her catwalk strut down by the time she is six...and turn and pose, and turn and strut and pose...good grief!

Unfortunately, in our society, this isn’t an unusual story. From the day we are born, we are pushed toward societal expectations of what we “should be” (think pink and blue), and this takes us away from what we can be. The difference in the way we raise our children can be startling, despite the fact that sex hormone levels do not differ in boys and girls from six months of age through puberty. This can have huge implications on our children’s development into adults. Whereas young girls are often discouraged from physical activity, boys are encouraged into sports to channel their energy. Boys are also taught to suppress their emotions much more than girls, keeping it bottled up inside (because showing emotion for boys is not “macho”).

Our children are quick to pick up on the way we treat each other, and unfortunately, in a patriarchy, it is our daughters who experience firsthand our society’s ugly side. For example, in advertising, women are often in submissive, sexualized poses, saying to the male, “I’m here for your pleasure.” Then, sadly, a male picks up on this and he’s got it in his head that the male is “dominant” and female is “submissive”, what this leads to is a culture where sexual harassment is the norm, or potentially worse yet - rape.

In order to move from a patriarchy to a egalitarian society, we must not push patriarchal norms onto our children (labeling such as masculine or feminine). We must teach them how to think for themselves, and not give in to the machine that is exploitation in the name of capitalism. As Chaz Bono, formerly Chastity Bono, born transgender, and raised as a girl, who recently had a sex change put it, “gender is between your ears, not between your legs.”