The Retort

Opinion

• Is the Opinion Section Making the Cut?

  I can vouch for the fact that our pieces are not the most professional. This is the item that is on the top of our list of things to improve.

• Tobacco Free is a Whacky Policy

  If you don’t want to inhale people’s smoke, then stand back from people smoking.

• Women Still Have the Right

  Another thing Donnelly claims in his article that really bothers me is his not-so-smooth idea to put words in my mouth.

• 72 Days Later, Kim Kardashian Files for Divorce

  In my opinion, this wedding was nothing but a plan to make more money, just like in the case of her sex tape that won her fame.

• Wrap Your Willy, It’s Not Silly

  Condoms are merely a precaution against the negative consequences of the choices we make.

• Dining Services: Still Not Good Enough

  I am not asking for pity, just better food.

• A Man’s View on Abortion

  Parents with handicapped children love them just as much as any other child. It isn’t anyone’s place to say that the handicapped shouldn’t have to be born.

• Pro-Life Side to the Women’s Decision

  Before condemning all unborn children doctors know will be born with disabilities to be aborted, consider this: These children are not “sick”

• It Could Be Worse; You Could Be a Reality TV Star

  For some reason there is something addicting about watching reality stars crash and burn spectacularly.

• Have Some Self-Respect When Dressing for Halloween

  I am sorry, but dressing up like a cheap tramp at any time of the year is never, or ever should be, considered acceptable.

• Trash Talking the Dining Services

  Sodexo is changing the menus every day. They want to make the residents and customers happy.

• Abortion is the Woman’s Decision

  having to live with Down syndrome isn’t fun and easy. A child would not enjoy being different from the other kid.

• Wrapping Your Willy is Still Silly

  Don't have sex with slimy people; especially ones you don't know.

• The Rich, the Famous, and the Untalented

  do the celebrities that are being paid millions of dollars that they don’t actually deserve, deserve it?

• Who Are the Real Pigs?

  I like to compare police officers with U.S. soldiers.

• Condoms, One View Doesn’t Fit All

  It is difficult to understand why a tendentious and irresponsible article about condom use should be written for the September 23 issue.

• MSUB Cafeteria Food: The Nightmare

  the food is unhealthy, frozen, undercooked, and served in ridiculously small portions

• Illegal Immigrants and Our Ignorance

  Don’t forget your Irish neighbor may also have a fake green card.

• Are Cell Phones Today Really Worth It?

  Unfortunately, today the cell phone is considered everything but a phone.

• Condoms Are Not Always What They’re Wrapped Up to Be

  Putting on a condom before sex is like wearing a ski mask to the bank.

• Increased Enrollment, a Good Thing?

  Parking and computers and class size, oh my!

• Taking a Look Back: A Year as a Freshman

  Going into the Fall 2010 semester I was just an eighteen year old kid with no idea as to what I wanted to become or even amount to.

• Sources of Inspiration Help Us Through Life

  there are certain characters that can help people through the hard times and share the fun memories of the good times.

• Foo Fighters Drop Their Heaviest Album

  Not only is this album the hardest-hitting, most rocking, and simply badass Foo Fighters album, it might just be their best since their first self-titled album.

• Christianity’s Hypocrisy Affects Public Health Policy

  Public health policy should not be made on one religion’s hypocritical and false beliefs.

• Pokemon: Still a Force to be Reckoned With

  It is the second best-selling video game franchise in history

• Japan Tragedy Puts Things in Perspective

  At work in the previous week I heard a coworker complaining about the little stresses in life and the fact that she did not want to be at work

• Facebook is a Conduit for Many Opinions

  my beef lies with the haters

• Donations for Japanese Relief Efforts

  Donation boxes can be found in the Library, Jackets and Company, and Stingers on the main campus.

• MSU Billings 8th Annual International Food Fair Thursday, March 31st

  Come and taste cuisine from around the world

• The Droid, the iPhone, the Blackberry, Oh My!

  All three have their ups, and two have their downs. Not to mention the extra money thrown at a service plan. So which one should you get?

• Why You Need Netflix

  For under the price of an adult movie ticket, you can rent one movie at a time as many times as you can send back and receive movies within a month.

• Blame the Game

  A recent article published by Fox News accused Epic Game Studios, a power house in the gaming industry, of producing the worst game in the world.

• Valentine’s Day: One Guy’s Perspective

  From (little) past experience I have discovered that girls like shiny things.

• What is Dubsteppin’?

  I later learned that what I thought was a band, is really an entire sub-genre of music derived from the electronic genre.

• Reaction to “The Problem with Ethical Christianity”

  The article in question states that "ethics come from ourselves"--this makes it sound like ethics are a personal decision.

• Exposing the 2011 Zodiac Scare

  The technological world is abuzz with questions, confusion, and in most cases, anger.

• The 3D Gimmick

  Although 3D seems like a gimmick, it is here to stay.

• Fall Symphonic Band Concert Boasts Large Attendance

  Despite the winter weather, there was a large attendance at MSUB’s Symphonic Band Fall Concert at the Cisel Recital Hall at 7:30 pm on Thursday, December 2.

• Top Ten Best Worst Infomercial Products of 2010

  While you wile away the hours dreaming of the world’s many tragic all-consuming tribulations, unbeknownst to you, those problems are being resolved just an “on” switch away.

• The Best Trip to Take

  The best trip that I have ever taken was only a day trip, but it affected me more than a month-long trip to somewhere else would have.

• In the Black - The Madness that is Black Friday

  Each weekend holds a new sale at various department stores and retailers, and for good reason - those Christmas lists will have a hard time shopping for themselves.

• Lady Gaga, Will you Please Gogo Away?

  Who is this person, this Lady Gaga who has invaded our innocent planet with a Biblical plague of cheap tranny makeup, derivative music, and the costumes from a New York City Halloween parade?

• Reflections on Returning, Returning, Returning

  I really like learning. It’s a way of life.

• Digital vs. Physical in the Music World

  Physical copies are my personal preference. Collecting the music is just as fun as listening to it

• A Letter to All My Facebook Friends

  I can’t help you locate lost sheep, or help you farm. If I wanted to farm, I would move to North Dakota.

• Reply to the Problem with Ethical Christianity

  It seems like it’s becoming expectable to hate Christians, and frankly it’s starting to get on my nerves.

• The Best: Horror Movies

  This publication of “The Best” is all about the greatest horror movies out there, or that I have had the chance to experience. Don’t worry, “Paranormal Activity” didn’t cut it.

• The Worst: Horror Movies

  From movies close to “Casper 13: Yes, Casper is still Dead” and “I Think My Mom’s Boyfriend Is a Vampire 4,” I didn’t think scary movies could get any worse - until I discovered the $2.99 box at Hastings.

• Tinkerbell: a Great Role Model for Young Girls?

  it’s still kind of creepy that we’ve come to celebrate Tinkerbell as an icon when she has murder most foul on her rap sheet. Would parents keep buying Tinkerbellaphernalia if they knew that she was a murderess?

• Zombie Love

  A zombie movie is more than just a low budget horror film meant to result in giggles and laughs. When done right, the film demonstrates the will to survive and the struggle for a brighter future, and honestly, most people experience this daily in their li

• The Problem with Ethical Christianity

  There is no such thing as “ethical Christianity,” that will be explained, and there is no such thing as ethics that are Christian because ethics come before Christianity.

• Illegal to be Gay? What is This, Texas?

  Yes, I poke fun, but to be fair, not all Republicans are bad.

• Stewart, Colbert, and the National Mall

  During the month of September, Jon Stewart, host of “The Daily Show” on Comedy Central, announced that he would be holding a rally. Not just any rally, though - A Rally to Restore Sanity, because he believes the time has come for Americans across the

• Are You There, Obama? It’s Me, Gay Marriage

  Obama has managed to theoretically support the LGBT community without completely ruffling the feathers of the Christian right.

• The Best

  I will write my opinion on “The Best” of anything within a given category. With Fall underway what better category to begin with than video games?

• The Worst

  The worst game I’ve played in a long time, and I repeat, the worst game I’ve played in a long time, is what some called “the most anticipated game of the decade.” That’s right, folks. I’m talking about Modern Warfare 2.

• Why Iran Won’t Respond to Sanctions

  On his sixth trip to the United Nations, Ahmadinejad is likely to find an international community more confident that its forceful economic sanctions have finally made Tehran appreciate the cost of its belligerence.

• Cartoons!

  The comix are back.

• Equal Pay: a Matter of Survival

  Working women are still paid only 77 cents for every dollar earned by a man — and are paid less than men even when they have similar levels of experience and education.

• Has Sarah Palin Saved the GOP?

  Contrary to conventional wisdom, the 2008 vice presidential nominee has kept the party strong.

• Midnight Release: Worth the Wait?

  All in all, midnight releases prove to be a fun time had by most.

• Sex Clubs, Nazis, Tea Parties, Oh My!

  I’m referring to Bondage Gate, or the news that The Republican National Committee reimbursed about $2,000 in expenses rung up by the Young Eagles at a Hollywood nightclub featuring topless dancers and bondage outfits.

• Sexist Game Cover Art

  Dungeons and Dragons new fourth edition Demonomicon, however, demands some public criticism.

• Say Goodbye to Texting and Driving

  As of October 1st a law will be put into effect that restricts the use of handheld phones, meaning that unless you have Bluetooth of another form of hands-free communication - don’t answer that phone.

• A Religious Test Every Candidate Should Take

  The battles over an Islamic community center in Lower Manhattan and a Florida pastor's threat to burn the Koran on Sept. 11 underscore the relevance of political leaders' views on faith.

• The Senate’s Chance to Repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”

  Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates and Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, have called for repeal of "don't ask, don't tell," as has President Obama.

• Surf’s Up Again on a New, Stylish Island Escape

  "Hawaii Five-0" is a big bag of dumb fun, with a story told as tautly and smoothly as the surface of a Polynesian drum.

• Book “Room” Based on Real-Life Nightmare

  The inspiration is the terrible case of Elisabeth Fritzl, the Austrian woman who finally escaped from her dungeon in 2008.

• Dear Obama: A Letter to the President

  I really, really wanted you to be MY president.

• Somewhere Beyond Bigger Bombs and Breast Implants

  Our children are quick to pick up on the way we treat each other, and unfortunately, in a patriarchy, it is our daughters who experience firsthand our society’s ugly side.

• An English Major’s Dissection of “The Perfect Couple” Joke

  the joke remains untouched and unexamined for what was truly said: was it really sexist, or was it using sexist comments deceptively to place a joke on another

• An Opposition to Health Care Reform

  The largest issue is our loss of freedom that will result from this bill.

• FEMINIST (fem-i-nist) N.

  FEMINIST (fem-i-nist) N. A supporter of women’s claims to be given rights, opportunities, and treatment equal to those of men.

• A Retort for The Retort

  I read the article about the “Perfect Couple” joke in the March 26 edition of the Retort, and it has been too long since I saw such an exquisite example of satirical verse!

• Letter to the Editor

  How refreshing and inspiring to read an article like Jen Gross’s “Every Woman Should Have a Mooncup.”

• The “C” Word and Other “-ism” Words

  No, not that one. The other one. Communism.

• Ghosts of the Political Past

  To leave politics to some charismatic speechifying savior and/or to the occult machinations of an oligarchy is to give up on “democracy” entirely.

• A Plea from the Sea

  we often overlook the impact we have upon the sea with our diets

• Meals on Wheels Brings Hope

  The Salvation Army’s Meals on Wheels service provides a simple dinner to Billings’ inner-city community

• ALL Advocates for Shriners to Bring Animal-Free Circus to Billings

  ALL waved signs that included such slogans as “Boycott the circus,” “Abolish slavery,” “Stop elephant abuse,” and “Explain the whips and chains to your children.”

• Every Woman Should Have a Mooncup

  Unbeknownst to many, these are eco-friendly, healthful alternatives to the 11,000 disposable feminine hygiene products each woman will throw away during the span of her menstrual life.

• Poker: Entertainment or Playing with Fire

  When I tell people that I deal poker for a living I get one of two reactions

• Health care reform right for students

  The reform bill that I supported and the President signed into law is right for Montanans.

• Joe Wilson, ACORN, Grapes, and the Republican Party

  So what with the GOP shrinking and Hispanics and Blacks increasing their voting power I have to ask...

• You Won’t Like Him When He’s Angry

  If the president wants you dead, you’re dead. Ain’t America great?

• There is No Such Thing as a Perfect Joke

  Recently, a joke titled The Perfect Couple was published in the Potty Press and posted in the bathroom stalls in the dorms

• Peace on Your Plate, Peace in the World

  “As long as there are slaughterhouses, there will be battlefields.” - Leo Tolstoy

• Faulty Logic Perpetuates Sexist Attitudes

  Cosgrove belittled the female reporter with a sexist remark, by way of a faulty analogy

• Sacrificial Love

  For this there is no greater love than sacrificial love.

• Yo…Yogi…Yo: Say it ain’t So

  Watching parts of the National Tea Party Convention this weekend

• Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia-Obama!

  Obama, the Chia pet? If you were President, wouldn’t you rather have shoes thrown at you?

• Animal Cruelty is Complex

  I urge you to sign the petition I-160 that calls for an end to trapping on Montana ‘s public lands.

• Liberty and Equality

  when we examine the purest principles of socialism, we recognize something truly noble in this cause.

• What is Facebook?

  A Deeper Look at the Facebook Pandemic (and how you can join!)

• Getting Older, New Ink, and Post Grad Job Hunting

  hope that after I graduate and finally get a job it will not involve asking “Do you want fries with that?”

• Rights and Responsibilities to the Oppressed

  Will humans ever give animals any significant rights?

• Martin Luther King Day

  It is sad to report that racism not only exists today, but it is glorified by a certain segment of our people

• Expectations of Access and Excellence

  The group facilitator explained that the focus is all about the students, our experiences, and the things that impede or empower us to succeed at MSUB

• What Trappers Don’t Want You to Know

  Trapping is a primitive, barbaric pastime.

• Scraping the Barrel: Rants, Raves, and Short Takes – The Ramblings of a Madman

  Standup comedy is too hard; I much prefer to sit down.

• Candi’s Sweet Advice

  Our resident sexpert Candi La Fleur is here to answer all your questions about sex, love, and romance.

• Scraping the Barrel: The People Versus Lee Greenwood

  Lee, whose 1984 effort became the theme of the Gulf War, really isn’t living up to the promises he made.

• The Other Side of Dairy

  Moo

• Turkey-Free – Way too Be

  It may truly surprise you just how satisfying a turkey-friendly holiday meal can be.

• Clearing Up the Confusion

  Sexual assault attitudes via words, picutes, and actions.

• Scraping the Barrel: The Final Death of Optimistic Nonsense

  Mike's parents got a ‘C’ in parenting. If that’s good enough to graduate college, it’s good enough to spawn.

• Another Step in the Right Direction

  Introducing the Student Initiated Recycling Program.

• Vegan Burgers Hugely Popular at History Club Fundraiser

  Gross comments on meatless burgers.

• A Sad Reality

  Horrific treatment of non-human animals is more common than we think.

• EAC Needs Members for Greater Success

  Current membership in the Environmental Awareness Club is languishing; a recruitment meeting is being held on October 28th from 2-3pm in the Science Auditorium.

• Cell Phones, Necessity or Addiction?

  What is up with this epidemic of cell phone addiction?

• Clearing Up Confusion

  There are serious misconceptions about the true meaning of the terms “feminist” and “feminism.”

• Problem Resolution

  How do we go about solving the problems that people are shouting about?

• Editorial Cartoons

  Editorial cartoons from around the world.

• From the Desk of One Baroque College Student: Every Road Is…

  There are three seasons in Montana: Winter, Mud, and Road Destruction.

• Candi’s Sweet Advice

  Candi answers your most intimate questions.

• Scraping the Barrel: Once More with Feeling

  Cynical, bitter, and approaching 30, Mike Schrage looks back on his youth, wasted on wine, women, and travel.

• Call to Action

  Our Opinion Editor seeks your opinions!